Negotiations Matrix

HOW SPECIFIC TEMPERAMENTS RELATE TO EACH OTHER

 In addition to those traits which may relate to the specific 16 individual temperaments there are some general observations that show how certain temperaments relate to each other.

The information in these links describe how each of these temperaments interacts with the others in the context of divorce negotiations.



Instructions: Pick your type, then follow the link to the "type" you will be negotiating with.
 
 
  • N with S

  •  
  • P with J


  • When Es and Is negotiate with each other

    Strengths


    Weaknesses


    Hints:




    When E negotiates with E

    Strengths


    Weaknesses



    When I negotiates with I

    Strengths


    Weaknesses




    When Ns and Ss Negotiate

    An example of a woman N and a male S appeared on a talk-show program where Lowell was the guest.  She had prepared a casual, relaxed parenting plan which allowed for each parent to do what felt interesting whenever the spirit moved them. It had a 70's "hippies" feel to the agreement.  Now she was being devastated by  his and his new wife's insistence on specifics: screening every movie the child saw, precise timing for each activity, exact  activities and a constant suggestion that she was inappropriate.  She will now need to go to court to make sure she gets quality  time in a re-fashioned parenting plan where her parenting style is not being controlled.

    It is hard for Ns and Ss to follow the other's thinking. One  practice could be for the N to explain what they know about  details of baby care, or teen-age study problems or financial "nitty-gritty" of sending their child to college.

    Strengths


    Weaknesses




    When S Negotiates with S

    Strengths


     
     



    When N Negotiates with N

    Strengths


    Weaknesses



    When Fs and Ts Negotiate with Each Other

    Strengths

    Weaknesses


    Hints:


    FLAG:  If F gets teary and emotional T begins to feel it is getting illogical and out of control.  T feels loss of control.  Stop and come back to the table later.
     



    When Ts negotiate with Ts

    Strengths


    Hint:
    Look at the economics of the situation - bring in a third party if necessary to work towards the negotiated settlement to save money.
     
     



    When F Negotiates with F

    Remember:  the love relationship is over, so when you read spouse's emotions and see anger and hurt you can help most by validating the feelings and then moving on.  F's can be effective because  both are anxious to keep harmony for kids.  A therapist can help with this.  Future parenting relation is a strong pull to getting through negotiations effectively.

    Strengths


    Weaknesses



    When Ps and Js Negotiate

    With Js and Ps timing is the issue, not emotions.

    Strengths


    Weaknesses of each

    Hints:



    When P Negotiates with P

    Strengths


    Weaknesses


    Hint:
    Can use attorney mediator as problem solver to get to closure.
     



    When J Negotiates with J

    Strengths

    Weaknesses


     



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    Lowell Halverson lowell@halverson-law.com

     

     

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