Now that you have answered the questionnaire you may proceed to the next part of this adventure by reviewing the letters you have selected above to find your probable temperament and that of your spouse.  The General Description of this temperament is shown below.

Link to other types
Link to negotiations matrix

General description of the ISTJ

• - Decisive in practical affairs.
• - Dependable.
• - Word of ISTJs is their bond.
• - Thought of dishonoring a contract appalls them.
• - Thorough, detailed, justice, practical procedures, and smooth flowing.
• - Honor the marriage contract; loyal and faithful.
• - Consistent in handling children.
• - Rules of the family are made clear.
• - Can marry people who are thoroughly irresponsible.
• - Sense of responsibility and bottom-line behavior.
• - Doing their duty.
• - Doing what should be done.
• - Parenting is a lifelong responsibility that is undertaken seriously.
• - Impose rules and regulations.
• - Fiercely loyal, both to individuals and institution.

Strengths of ISTJ'S

• Will bring thoroughness, concentration and preparation to negotiations.
• High ability to concentrate.
• Logical, realistic dependable.
• Well-organized realistic.
• Well-organized in presentation.
• Steadfast in preparing for negotiations despite emotional setbacks.
• Wants everything kept factual.
• Wants to avoid unnecessary complexity.
• Sound, sensible.
• Hardworking, patient with details and routines.
• Responds well to logic, decisiveness and analytic approach.
• When emotionally stable gets a lot done and is good with planning and follow-through.
• Motivated to get closure on transactions.

• Under stress may see others as "out to get them."  May read "bad" motives in others.
• Will take a while to understand that opponent's needs are quite different from theirs - but once convinced will respect and be generous in satisfying them, even if it doesn't make sense to the  ISTJ.
• When parenting conflict is exacerbated in divorce, ISTJs need a therapist.
• When spouse rages and uses strong emotions against the ISTJ, who is already anxious, the negotiations may breakdown.
• Therapist may be good to help the ISTJ walk through emotional issues like accusatory behavior; the acting out of children.
• When experiencing emotions not yet understood and controlled, such as separation distress, the ISTJ may become dependent on therapists for awhile.  This is okay because they need a guide     and stabilizer.

How the ISTJ sees Self

• Dependable.
• Realistic.
• Stable.
• Efficient.
• Decisive - finishes what (s)he starts.

How Others See ISTJ as Negotiator

• Rigid.
• Unimaginative.
• Pig-headed.
• Cutting off options too quickly.
• Unable to handle more than one issue at a time.
• Can be undone by emotional distress of spouse.

How the ISTJ can Negotiate with Others

• A trusted therapist is a must when anxiety obstructs your ability to negotiate.
• If negotiating with an N don't be upset if details aren't yet worked out on options.
• Concentrate on big picture and relax and work details out later.  Don't get lost in details - you like them and can make them part of your agenda as the big picture focuses.
• Don't rush to closure.
• If spouse uses negotiating session to spout off don't become judgmental - listen rather than judge.  Keep options open.
• Don't expect each session to be productive towards your goals.  Your negotiating partner may need to vent, to be heard, to be validated.
• If you must criticize, criticize the conduct, not the spouse.

The information in these links describe how each of these temperaments interacts with the others in the context of divorce negotiations.