Now that you have answered the questionnaire you may proceed to the next part of this adventure by reviewing the letters you have selected above to find your probable temperament and that of your spouse.  The General Description of this temperament is shown below.

Link to other types
Link to negotiations matrix

General description of the ISFJ

• - Desire is to be of service and to minister to individual needs.
• - Need to be of service to others.
• - Devoted to mate and family.
• - Attitude of nurturing as well as an attitude of being critical.
• - Often are taken for granted.
• - Friends often criticize them for letting others continually take advantage of their goodness.
• - Allow themselves to become the doormats of a marriage.
• - Strong sense of duty and commitment.
• - Careful and exact in the words they use, words that represent bonds and contracts to be taken very seriously.
• - A quiet, guardian-like role.
• - Subjugation of the parents' needs in favor of the children's.
• - Will complain about all the work, responsibilities, or demands.
• - In fact, there is nothing that ISFJs would rather be doing.
• - Stubbornness will give way if authority . . .
• - Some other sense of responsibility can be appealed to .
• - Prefer assignments that are highly defined.
• - Believe work builds character.

• Will come to the negotiating process thoroughly prepared.
• Motivated to persevere to conclusion.
• Very sympathetic, kind and genuinely concerned and will be mindful of the needs of negotiating spouse.
• Sound and sensible about reaching sound realistic solutions.
• Motivated to get to closure.
• Thorough and caring.

Weaknesses of the ISFJ as a Negotiator

• Ideas are fairly unshakable.
• May misread motives of others while under stress, see enemies "everywhere."
• Tendency to care about needs of negotiating opponent, and, coupled with a desire for harmony, may make them less able to take care    of own needs in divorce transaction.
• Can be sidetracked from goals if spouse is needy.
• May have trouble communicating own needs and feelings to spouse.
• May not want to tell a needy spouse unpleasant truths about that person.

How the ISFJ sees self

• Dependable.
• Practical.
• Realistic.
• Caring.

How others see the ISFJ

• Not creative.
• Controlling.
• Dull.
• Unwilling to consider other options.

How to Negotiate Effectively With Other Types

• Concentrate on communication level.
• May have thought it through but not communicated it clearly.
• If dealing with extraverted type, ISFJs need to be strong in conveying importance of some aspects of their case.
• Ask a perceptive friend how to have a "win-win" solution if you should reach a negotiating deadlock.
• Your need for order and control could be regarded by spouse as tyrannical.  Try to let go of those behaviors during negotiations.
• Give spouse room to ventilate.
• Your spouse may see your demands as tyrannical if (s)he needs to be able to consider options and possibilities
• If spouse restates your ideas, try not to take it as criticism
• Take your hurt feelings out of the equation and use instead your problem-solving capabilities.
• Try not to take statements from a negative partner as personal criticisms but as statements of a problem to be solved.

The information in these links describe how each of these temperaments interacts with the others in the context of divorce negotiations.