Now that you have answered the questionnaire you may proceed to the next part of this adventure by reviewing the letters you have selected above to find your probable temperament and that of your spouse.  The General Description of this temperament is shown below.

Link to other types
Link to negotiations matrix

General Description of ESTJs

• - Roll up their sleeves, dig in, and proceed directly to get the job done; quick to decide a plan of action.
• - Can tend to decide too hastily.
• - Can be boxed into corners, missing goals as a result.
• - Use logic and analysis as guiding principles for their lives.
• - Enjoy closure.
• - Constantly monitor events, making sure that commitments are honored and that jobs are done.
• - Able to compartmentalize their lives.
• - Take their roles seriously.
• - Begin early to assume responsibility for themselves.
• - Direct and decisive.
• - Like schedules and agendas so that they can plan ahead; ie. they like "to do" lists because checking off the items demonstrates accomplishments.
• - Desire stability, predictability and efficiency.
• - Setting of priorities comes naturally.
• - Take charge quickly and give advice directly, whether solicited or not.
• - ESTJs put work before pleasure and keep these activities separate; leisure time occurs only after work is completed and must be earned or goal-oriented.
• - Ruled by logic, systematic.
• - Supersensitive to being rejected, but they may not readily share that hurt with others.
• - They often do not see needs for change, holding to their view and becoming rigid and unyielding; "that's the way we've always done it."
• - Conscientious, reliable and task-oriented.
• - Maybe not consciously aware of their needs or of others.

Strengths of ESTJs

• Good sense of business aspect of negotiated property agreement, will be well organized in presentations.
• Where other types are "touchy-feely," the ESTJ is a disciplined role model.
• Realistic, pragmatic.
• Good record keeper.
• Providing that the other viewpoint is considered when making decisions, negotiations will go smoothly.
• Like to focus on facts which they will analyze impersonally, in rational manner.
• Good at applying past experiences to problem solving.
• Good at reading fine print and keeping track of essential details.
• Can do "tough love" in parenting, and provide consistent discipline in parenting areas.

Weaknesses of ESTJs

• May not be intuitive, and very often may not put value on optional negotiating solutions.
• Under stress their hands may twist, they may jump around.  They may feel anguish, loss.
• Wouldn't see value in an unconventional approach to problem solving, thus believing "wife always gets house if children are at home," etc.
• May tend to ignore partner's expressed wishes unless forced to do so and as a result, partner may let lawyer take over rather than face strong personality.
• Too quick to offer criticism and let other spouse take blame for failure.
• Can carve out hard boundaries in negotiations and thereby eliminate opportunities for "win-win" situations.

How the ESTJ sees himself in negotiations

• Realistic, efficient.
• Stable, dependable and firm in decision-making ability.
• Usually has a pragmatic view on any issue in divorce.

How Others see the ESTJ

• Opinionated; unwilling to try new ways to problem solve through negotiating.
• Unwilling to consider "win-win" options.
• Too rigid in their thinking.
• As wanting to take items off the agenda one at a time instead of globally.
• As not listening sufficiently to the emotional needs of the spouse.

How the ESTJ can negotiate better with other types

• Because feelings are less-developed (and understood), ESTJs need to show spouses more appreciation for what they bring to the negotiations.
• Should tell spouse when job is well done rather than correcting them when not well done.
• Appreciate self as organized planner and getting step-by-step solutions.
• If an ESTJ feels the need to criticize or complain, he/she should do so to a friend or in a journal but not to the negotiating spouse.
• ESTJs must understand that until they are completed, negotiations take place in a world of ambiguity and uncertainty and can't be planned and controlled.
• The unplanned can be positive.
• Should not get depressed if deal is not completed in one sitting.  Get some matters settled if possible, but don't expect it all to shake down at once.

The information in these links describe how each of these temperaments interacts with the others in the context of divorce negotiations.