Now that you have answered the questionnaire you may proceed to the next part of this adventure by reviewing the letters you have selected above to find your probable temperament and that of your spouse.  The General Description of this temperament is shown below.

Link to other types
Link to negotiations matrix

General Description of the ESFJ

• - Sociable.
• - Energized by interactions with people.
• - Drive for harmony.
• - Idealizes whatever or whoever they admire.
• - Nurtures, personifies "Motherhood".
• - Adheres to tradition.
• - Loyal, almost to a fault.
• - Outgoing, especially in emotional reactions.
• - Sentimental.
• - Possessive about family and property.
• - Punctual and expects the same of others.
• - Possesses a sure sense of RIGHT and WRONG and sees imposition of these standards as his duty.
• - Traditionalist, stabilizer, consolidator.
• - Patient, thorough, reliable, orderly.
• - Values policies and rules.
• - Tendency to resist change.
• - Hungers to serve others, "Hosts and Hostesses of the World."
• - Decisive, sometimes inclined to decide issues too quickly.
• - Considers home as the center of his/her universe.

• Conscientious.
• ESFJs want to create harmony.
• Want to directly and visibly affect the lives of others.
• Is warm-hearted and generous.
• Want to be co-operative.
• Respect other people's feelings.
• Want to improve the lives of others.
• Will value spouse's opinion even if disagreeing .
• ESFJs remember every word of a heated argument.
• High success rate with negotiating.

Weaknesses as negotiators

• Needs harmony and finds conflict difficult.
• ESFJs don't enjoy the technical aspects of legal process, e.g. drafting, tax terms.
• During stress may sound critical, angry, "nothing works," it's all a "bad idea."
• Want definite answers to questions, not just the process.
• Can lose sight of own values if concentrate too much on the spouse's values.
• Find it difficult to be brief and business-like.
• May be blind to facts if hurting too much or conflict is intense.
• Danger of trying to reach agreement too quickly.
• May impede negotiations by "should and should nots."
• May not be willing to accept unpleasant facts.
• ESFJs may sweep problems under rug rather than find solutions.

How ESFJs see themselves as negotiators

• Stable, dependable.
• Practical and organized.

How others see ESFJs as negotiators

• Stubborn, opinionated.
• An opinion on every issue.

How to work positively with other types

• If spouse is an I, try to pull them out with questions.  Take caution not to force decisions instantly.  (let decisions rest overnight, if necessary)
• ESFJs work well with encouragement and praise.
• Listen to spouse, don't talk all the time.

• Don't hurt an ESFJ's feelings.
• If crying, stop session until another day.

The information in these links describe how each of these temperaments interacts with the others in the context of divorce negotiations.