Now that you have answered the questionnaire you may proceed to the next part of this adventure by reviewing the letters you have selected above to find your probable temperament and that of your spouse.  The General Description of this temperament is shown below.

Link to other types
Link to negotiations matrix

General description of this temperament:

• - Place a high value on cooperation from others and are most willing to cooperate themselves
• - When ENFJs find that their position or beliefs are not comprehended or accepted, they are surprised, puzzled and sometimes hurt.
• - Particularly adept when communicating face-to-face as opposed to communicating in writing
• - Intuition tends to be well developed
• - Excellent companions and mates.   They are deeply devoted to their children.
• - Tend not to be domineering to either children or a mate
• - Even tempered.
• - Like to have things settled and organized.
• - Very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data.
• - Motivating people to do something they may not initially have wanted to do.
• - Highly skilled in understanding other's needs and motivations
• - Capacity to size up a situation intuitively.
• - In a very caring and concerned way, say just the right thing.
• - Can become depressed, wounded, even bitter, if their ideas are met with resistance.
• - They take conflict or rejection very personally.
• They tend to carry a grudge against individuals or groups involved.(Even when the other side had only intended to raise some valid questions).
• - May seem superficial because of their smooth and glib way with words.
• - Want a happy and affirming relationship.
• - Parenting is a responsibility and a pleasure
• - Negative behavior often makes an ENFJ parent feel like a failure
• - When harmony prevails, the living style of the ENFJ is lively and fun.
• - Drawn to careers that serve others with minimal potential for interpersonal conflict.
• - Work that involves too many details, abundance of paperwork, too much time alone will be boring if not stressful.

Strengths of ENFJs

• Can give off warmth and personableness.
• Personal values are very important to them.
• Focus on people.
• Believe human contact should be harmonious.
• Need approval, hurt by indifference.
• Like things settled, decided, don't want to make all decisions themselves.
• Probably verbally articulate.
• Responsible types.
• Influenced by how others feel about them.

Weaknesses of ENFJs

• Can only negotiate one item at a time.
• When stressed or upset they may be critical and not act logically

How ENFJs see themselves as negotiators

• Socially adept.
• Excellent communicators.
• Overly trusting.
• Believe extenuating circumstances should be applied to many situations.
• Very idealistic and unselfish.
• Decisive, needs to finish one topic before starting another.
• All items, however insignificant, can be important.

How others see ENFJs as negotiators

• Overly smooth, manipulative.
• Spends too much time on old history.
• Talks too much and obscures issues.
• Unbusinesslike.
• Brings too much emotionality to negotiations.
• Naive and impractical.
• Bossy and controlling.
• Too involved in details.

Negotiating positively with other types

• Works well with others when brainstorming negotiating ideas - what  you do best.
• Allow I-temperaments to pause, reflect, make slower decisions.
• Don't talk all the time, draw out introverts.
• Use questioning techniques to draw introverts out.
• Warn I-temperaments that you think aloud - that this is how you think, so what they hear is not necessarily the full answer, just a start.
• Don't give too many possibilities - limit to five or six.
• Be alert to details.
• Don't finish negotiating opponent's sentences for them.
• Have clear plan of action.  Use outline in writing during negotiating process.
• As a feeler, an ENFJ needs to express wishes clearly, don't punish opponent for not complying with unspoken wishes.

The information in these links describe how each of these temperaments interacts with the others in the context of divorce negotiations.