This is often oberved when one spouse accepts an offer too quickly. The other spouse then feels that it must not have been as good a deal after all, and that the acceptor had better information. This situation can be avoided by acquiring as much knowledge about the facts of your case and the applicable law as possible, while obtaining as much information as possible about the bargaining opponent's viewpoint.

Illustration: A trip-up over Navajo rugs

Once, after a spontaneous agreement was reached on the courthouse steps, my client realized that, in bargaining away the contents of the house, he had also given up seven Navajo rugs which he had purchased just before the 25 year marriage. The rugs had hung in the family residence, proudly displayed by the couple, for all those years. He had not been in the house since the separation one year earlier, and had forgotten about the rugs. In reviewing the agreement, and developing a case of buyer's remorse, he fixated on those rugs as a symbol of what he needed to redeem himself from the last destructive year of divorcing.

These Navajo rugs, to put things into perspective, were worth less than one tenth of one percent of the net estate being settled. Naturally, I wanted the deal to be over, as did the other attorney, but the rugs tripped us up. What to do?

The wife, who had been awarded the contents of the family home, insisted upon the strict terms of the contract. Her need levels were as high as her husband's, and she felt she was in the better bargaining position because she had the house and its contents. Yet, a provision in the decree said each party was to be awarded their separate property from before the marriage. This little ambiguity provided the opportunity for some creative bargaining. What to do?

Solution:

I finally figured out a solution that would both save face and meet their needs. The rugs were placed into a special trust which would benefit their children, with each parent reserving the right to share possession of the rugs in alternating five year time periods. Upon the death of the first spouse, the second would have unlimited use of the rugs, provided they were finally gifted to the children by will. This seemed to satisfy everybody, and we were able to close a multi-million dollar settlement which had been rolled up in seven Navajo rugs.

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