Clients often ask me, "Why learn to negotiate with someone I now hate?". I give them three reasons. My first really gets their attention: "MONEY". My second reason, "SELF-ESTEEM", is not quite so obvious. The third reason is "EFFECTIVENESS".
The money-saving is evident to almost every client. The less time an attorney has to spend on a case, the more money is saved. Self worth is a less obvious benefit of negotiating. I believe client self esteem will rise in direct proportion to the level of control and influence a client exerts over the difficult, emotionally charged, and intellectually trying experience of divorce. Every client who can develop a healthy "take charge" attitude in his or her case is going to have a more positive outcome. Even though the process involves risks and, inevitably, temporary setbacks, negotiation places power and responsibility with the client, and this increases self-esteem.
The family law practicioner's primary goal at this early stage of the divorce is, I believe, to provide the client the self-confidence and self-knowledge to negotiate a successful conclusion of the divorce case with minimal attorney intervention. Moreover, this self-empowerment style will, in many cases, result in greater "user satisfaction" with the legal system. For example, 40-70% of couples who enter divorce mediation settle out of court, a very encouraging rate given the high level of conflict in this area of law. One study shows that 60-85% of divorcing couples who participated in mediation were satisfied with the legal process. In contrast, only 33-64% of couples who divorced with only their lawyer's help were satisfied.